Archive for 2011

XIX.


haven't updated this for quite some time, so I just want to do a little quick post to try to keep this going in one way or another, so here are a few notes from my Philosophy notebook. is it only seemingly impossible to think of something controversial because of the society we live in?  American prisoner slave trade, ethics of exploitation, persecution to inequality; it is all common knowledge.  perhaps thorough media coverage. and this one: probability was obviously invented for very good reasons. we can made probability judgements in medicine based purely on previous cases because of the (apparently) similarity between humans.  it's  simply quicker saying "4 out of 5 dentists", than saying "4 out of 5 dentists, but not unequivocally because unobserved cases might not resemble observed cases". neither make any good points, they're just musings.  xx

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XVIII.

I am guessing that all employees, or employment agencies in general, with internet connections have a sneaky peak at the facebooks of all their prospective employees. out of my friend's friend's 5 photos on their main page, two are of them passed out on different streets and two are close-ups of their face passed out on a bench with a dark orange-coloured liquid coming from their mouth. I do not want to make assumptions, but seeing as this boy is now 18 years of age, he will soon be applying for university, or looking for a job. I don't understand what goes through his mind while uploading these pictures (because I checked, and all of them were uploaded by himself straight to his wall). I just wonder if he has any form of plans for the future. I feel sorry for his parents, and wonder if he has proud older siblings. the first two photos, uploaded last night, might have been during the time when he was drunk, straight from his phone, and he might not have had access to facebook yet, but the ones of him passed out on the street were from six days ago. I have convinced myself that my friend's friend, an eighteen year-old boy, has not been on a 6+ day binge, and is in fact a moron. // this post was about nothing, but it's getting quite late and it's been a while since I posted. I also want to mention that while I am technically twenty years of age, and so the right age to be impressed by my friend's friend's drunken bravado, I feel twenty years older, and the sight of him and the knowledge that my friend is friends with him disgusts me. xx

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XVII.


okay, I've heard back and I'm almost 100% definitely doing philosophy. that's a load of my mind, I feel much better now. I'm able to continue with other things. that was quite a weight that I didn't realise was there, and I don't miss it! // at the moment, I'm filling my days with top gear, QI, have I got news for you, other various comedy stand up shows, friends (the tv show), friends (real people in very small quantities), and weetabix. I like weetabix, it tastes okay and it's got a texture which you feel go all the way down your throat. and it's unnecessary to have sugar on weetabix. // a few more photos from italy. xx

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XVI.

I'm starting to hate pieces of memories with no explanation. images of places that I've never seen, and smiling faces that I've never met. I think in words, I can't see colours or shapes other than their definitions. that hollow blip that something's registered: it does more than echo around my head; it finds home and bores in deep, regardless of the damage it's doing. xx

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XV.

recently I've been quite scatterbrained. don't you love the English language, such as that "scatterbrained" is one word? I've been watching television and playing on games and writing and reading and running and listening to music and shopping and eating and drinking and clicking and sleeping and throwing and catching and dipping and diving, but I can't do any of these for more than half an hour, or I get bored. I find myself waking up in the middle of the night and lying in bed fidgeting, with a thought in my mind that I've forgotten something, or that I'm waiting for something, or something else I cannot put my finger on. I find myself sleeping with my laptop next to me, so that I can sleep, wake up, watch a video or play a game of solitaire or chess, and then go back to sleep. it's a very much-to-do business, and it does not do to have this terrible affliction. but I am updating my blog more often. I'll even have pictures and stuff soon, but not in this one, because my hair is pushed flat to my head and I feel like I'm in a state of perpetual half-sleep. xx

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XIV.

It's ridiculous that all of my pictures were deleted from this blog. just spent a few minutes uploading some of them, but some of them were deleted from my computer, or uploaded from my phone, which were subsequently deleted, so there's nothing I can do about a few of the posts, and they have been left blank. on other news, I went to Italy and took many many photos.
//
we went all around, seeing the Duomo, the Sistine Chapel, the Valley of the Temples, the Parthenon, the Leaning Tower of Pisa, the Venezian Canals, but the most impressive historical thing I saw there, and perhaps in my whole life, is Michaelangelo's David. it is many times taller than I thought it would be, and it is pretty much completely perfect. I went around the museum it is packed in three times, just to stare at it from a different perspective. it is the first piece of art for a long time that just took my breath away. I couldn't stop inspecting all the perfect different parts of it. xx

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XIII.

I risked the torrential rains and flash-freezing fronts of the north today, travelling by train and foot and locomotive, only to be told that I did not have to come in; everything I accomplished today could have been done over the phone. that was definitely worth the five years of my life I've shaved off from the stress of it all. xx

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XII.


the one at the top is a setting called "london". it emphasises reds, and gives the rest an almost monochrome colourlessness. the one under it is just a leaky one, and it's the effect I use most of the time, for most things. both of these are taken on my phone, and I want to buy a camera so I'd feel less of a tit...// I got 45 tom & jerry cartoons, the original ones, and I found out that the format I got them in is incompatible with my playstation, so I can't watch them on my tv. very sad day for me.// on the plus-side, my clothes arrived from new look, bringing a cardigan, two tops, one white, one orange (!), a pair of trousers with that cowboy arch thing going on, and a pair of dark blue deck shoes, which are very pointy and look like they're about size 12, but they fit fine.// now my dog has fallen asleep on me while I was unaware and writing away. conniving little thing. xx

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XI.

on a different, less geeky note, look at the nice weather we're having. this was taken very late, so the shadows are longer than you'd expect from a "look at the nice weather we're having" photo, but I took a few today and did not realise I was shooting in 640 pixels. xx

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X.

it is of course possible that all or any of our beliefs may be mistaken, and therefore all ought to be held with at least some slight element of doubt. but we cannot have reason to reject a belief except on the ground of some other belief. hence, by organising our instinctive beliefs and their consequences, by considering which among them is most possible, if necessary, to modify or abandon, we can arrive, on the basis of accepting as our sole data what we instinctively believe, at an orderly systematic organisation of our knowledge, in which, though the possibility of error remains, its likelihood is diminished by the interrelation of the parts and by the critical scrutiny which has preceded acquiescence.
this is an incredibly verbose and seemingly unedited passage by Bertrand Russell. "the problems of philosophy" is a good book, but Russell seems to flip-flop between arguments three times every paragraph, but regardless, I am certainly enjoying the book, from the (very) little I've read. xx // I also just received a philosophy book from a college in america, and this is a passage:
the desire for sex is natural but usually can be overcome; and when it can be, it should be because satisfaction of the sexual drive gives intense pleasure. but it involves one in relationships that are usually ultimately more painful than pleasant, and are often extremely painful.

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IX.


I had some more german bread with the kirsch on, which is like some kind of cherry jam, I suppose? and I also had a jam jar of orange juice. I do love pretention and hipstery. anyway, today, I did very little. went to the shops in the early afternoon, then entertained my brother for the evening, but other than that, nothing. I got my £500 bursary today, for continuing at the University of Lancashire, and I booked harry potter tickets. I also started playing this adorable little tower defence game called "Pixeljunk Monsters", and it's been taking up a good portion of my concentration for the past couple of hours.// oh! I also did the Pokémon Red glitch / exploit, the one where you can catch a Mew in Cerulian City! it's the first time in my life I've done it, seeing as I haven't played on Pokémon Red since I was about 10. I also found out that burning DVDs takes about three hours, which was a surprise.// oh, this has been a boring blog update. oh, well. I suppose it's supposed to be personal. xx

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VIII.

today, I had two breakthroughs shattered. one, I thought I would be able to sort out my university course fiasco, but it became more complicated. I tried to add some understandings, but she kept adding misunderstandings. at the moment, I might not be able to do Philosophy as a single honours; I might have to have it as a combined honours, and continue with creative writing, which I don't want to do, as I'd much rather have a single degree in something that sounds good. two, there was a really attractive girl on the train, and I'd promised myself that when we got off together in birmingham I would ask for her number, and I was so excited about it I couldn't think about anything else, but then she got off at crewe, so all my determination was wasted and I shrunk back into my socially paralytic self. xx

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VII.

I sort-of wanted to put something monumental and important as my seventh post, because it's probably my favourite number, but I haven't done anything fitting either of those descriptions for a good 20 years, so I think I'll just put anything. yesterday, I watched Sherlock Holmes, the recent film starring Jude Law, with his smile, and Robert Downey Jr., with his crawling, through, and tonight I'm going to watch the first episode, and perhaps some of the second, of Sherlock, the recent television series with Benedict Cumberbatch, with his voice, and Martin Freeman, with his eyebrows. gonna be a cuh-raaazy night...

p.s. oh, also, tomorrow I have a talk with my personal tutor because I'm not happy with the way my life is going, and I'm an eventually-do-something kinda guy. xx

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VI.

"does feeling have a physical representation? this video is the story of a feeling represented by a warm vibration spreading all over the body."
I know I should be in bed, asleep, but I'm not. just finished watching a short film from france called "Electronic  Performers" by L. Bourdoiseau, J. Blanquet and A. Ganzerli, produced by revolvair and machine molle. at just five minutes, it is a synthesised and imagined story following the birth of a feeling, including everything from the instant the electronic pulses shoot from the brain, to the serotonin released into the veins, to the sound waves passing the ears and tingling the hair on your neck, coupled with a music number so that the whole thing was set up like a beautifully realised equaliser. and I thought it was very good. I gave it 4/5 on Mubi. xx

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V.

I don't know what to do with this blog other than talk about myself and what I'm doing, and other than some boring family revelations, talking to my Cambodia-travelling friend, and some driving around, I've not been doing much. I made bolognese for supper. I got the recipe from the BBC website, but I did not have bacon, so I did not include bacon. it said add 150ml of red wine to the mix. I was making just under half of the recommended portion, because it serves 4, so I just added about 70-80ml. turns out red wine is not very compatible with small portions of food, and I ended up eating what was essentially 12.5% alcohol bolognese. xx

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IV.

"whatever can be thought of is an idea in the mind of the person thinking of it ; therefore nothing can be though of except ideas in minds ; therefore anything else is inconceivable, and what is inconceivable cannot exist."
that is a quote from Bertrand Russell, paraphrasing the likes of Berkeley and Leibniz, the creators of the theory of sense-data. this is from the first chapter of the book I bought. at the moment, I've learnt that, according to the sense-data subscribers, everything we see is just an image in our minds, made real by our perception, but the thing continues to exist if we no longer look at it, because of god (Berkeley), the universe (Leibniz), or a vast collection of electronic charges in violent motion (sober science). xx

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III.

next year, I should be doing a philosophy degree, if everything goes well on Monday; I have a meeting with my personal tutor on Monday at my university. the train cost me £40 and I have to wake up early. going to be a pretty great day.
//
this rather shaky and blurred image depicts, with difficulty, the two books that arrived a few days ago. I haven't read any of Sophie's Choice, because it is huge, but I have read the foreword and introduction to the Problems of Philosophy. so far it is pretty basic, not very interesting, but it is just the introduction. I think the whole book is an introduction, but I'm sure it will get interesting soon. xx

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II.

strangely, I'm listening to the same song as yesterday when I'm typing this. "You Came To Me" by Beach House, on their album "Devotion". we have no cereal in so I'm eating a banana. some of my philosophy books came in the post today. my mother suggested "Sophie's Choice" by William Styron, and someone who just did the course has suggested "The Problems of Philosophy" by Bertrand Russell. "Problems" is a much shorter book, and is more of an introduction, so I'll read that first. might give a review at the end of it. xx

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I.

and so I've started another one of these. I'll try and make this less sillily depressed, so that I don't delete it out of fear that my friends might find it and worry about me.// this blog will mainly be populated by words (many different ones), and my photos and my drawings will also live and love here (unlikely that they will love).// I'm listening to Beach House at the moment. just can't get enough of them. currently "You Came To Me" from their album "Devotion". the light notes and quiet voices are just what I need at this time of night. xx

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